Day Eleven

It's an auspicious day,
the eleventh, everyone say,
I want you to know on
this sacred day,
I am not as evil as
world may,
in it's all knowledge and wisdom
would like to portray.
My sin is I love,
without thinking twice,
without thinking bad or nice
without thinking if it's needed
or needless or even it is required
My sin is I love,
never as before, never twice.
My sin is I love you,
like I never loved her.
My sin is I can't love you,
like I loved her.
For there can be no one like
You, her or me.

Day Two

Day two was tougher than day one,
storms raised out of blue,
where there was none,
I missed you, yes,
those smiles and laughs,
non committal Hmms,
and committed silences.
It rained and I and little one saw
in her childish awe,
she wanted to pull out
umbrellas and raincoats
but I was scared let
the rain seep in my thoughts
I told her no and she din't insist.
How much she reminded
at that moment of thee.

अधूरा

अधूरा सा खुद को ले,
कहाँ कहाँ खोजा,
किस किस दर टटोला,
मैंने अपना बाकी आधा?
जब पाया हैं तुझ तक,
पहुँच कर इसको,
मैं अपना पहला आधा
भी ना खो दूँ, डर है

What a wonderful world

Each strand of life,
Has million illusions of bliss
All we get served
Is bitter aftertaste
or nothing or this
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Unique She

As the days pass,
the time, the situations,
the fate slowly reveal her to me
Like the valley is revealed
from the clouds as sun starts shining brighter.
Slowly I realize the grandiose,
The magnificence, the intricacies
Of her beauty.
Her beautiful warrior soul
Her ways, her faith, her love, the way she can empathize with everyone around her become more prominent with each passing day.
I stand awestruck, spellbinded.
Helplessly, hopelessly drowning in her love.
Her ways of love are different than those of the world, more beautiful than the definition of love, the world understands.
Her courage, her acceptance of both the world is so unique.
I admire her, adore her more than that I have started worshipping her.
Earlier I had glimpse of her soul which made me fall of her, made me musing about her. But now when every day I get to see her, she steals my heart all over again.

Samyaa asked

(Amazingly initiated by Ojasi Mehta (Ojasi's Blog))


Samyaa came on her toes and stood behind, he knew it was her. She didn't speak. Two hours passed with the moon floating on the river. When he was done with the meditation, he signaled her to board on the boat. The boat was Tabutsaaz's temporary house.

what's going into your mind? He asked her silently. She smiled, she was saying, I don't have words.

Random words, said Tabutsaaz finally reading her troubled gestures.

She put in efforts, said, " What to do...if there comes a point in someone's life when he is shocked out of his senses, when...when he finds out he Wont' be able to do something he had been doing for years, something for he is deadly Passionate about... what that would mean? Destiny? Of course... but what more? Is that a sign you need to change the Road? Is that a sign you have missed something more Important, something to Learn? .... huh!"

Tabutsaaz remained silent. While observing the waves, he smiled gently, as if he was patting the waves...

The Impatient heart waits for him to speak. While observing the deep silence and how echoing it is, echoing your own thoughts, dreams and fears...


****


He started tapping the side of wooden boat with eyes still in rhythm of every fall and rise of the waves. His voice rung and sync with the heartbeat of the river around him.


He muttered for Samyaa's ears only.

"River flows through three worlds.

It connects three world,

in most evident way possible.

A river is a magical thing,

a magic, moving, living part

of all the three worlds.

River begins, sustains and finishes,

while Doing any of these three

River never cease flowing,

River never cease Being.

Every drop of it

Never cease to be a River.

She knows very well

how to be a River.

She, when was young,

was very restless,

though mountains and rocks,

she would jump and dive

seeking unknown,

seeking untested.

and then she reached

the edge of the Forest,

She grew up and being grown-up,

she did not

run and jump and sparkle

along as it used to

but moved slowly.

For she knew now where she was going, and

she said and smiled,

"There is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

The Perfect Apprentice

"Necromancy is a magic form involving communication with the deceased – either by summoning their spirit as an apparition or raising them bodily. It is probably the most foreboding and sinister...", explained young Shiva with a gleam in his eyes. His tanned brown skin was glowing with the morning sun. His broad forehead and fluttering long hair gave him the demeanor that to match his mentor.

He continued,"...it is not respectable practice as it brings trouble over the ones who are granted the right to rest by nature divine. So is same with human interactions and relations once they have lived their lives it is very important let them rest in peace. As in necromancy so in these relations any forced attempt to revive dead, brings problem not only to dead but to alive as well."

Shiva looked at his mentor as if to seek approval. with a nod Tabutsaaz gave a proud filled smile. Smile of satisfaction of finding the perfect apprentice.

SHUT UP

SHUT UP

she says

when her tongue

holds all the words

when her emotions

hold all the worlds

when her soul

frees the universe

when her eyes

fight backs the tears

when her smile

betrays the lips

she just blinks

while storm in her heart

drowns a million ships

she says

SHUT UP

Confessions to People around

At times I feel like flipping pages of her diary. I feel an intense desire to feel the pain she might be going through or went through. It's strange humans are more inclined to share others pain than their joys. Is it to seek some sort of assurance? No, I don't think so or I don't want to believe that even if it is true. I like the idea that humans are essentially empathetic towards their fellow beings especially one who reflect their own thought more than often. I have been through the thoughts she has shared so many times. Every time I do so I feel a pang in heart and an innate desire to hold her hand more tightly. I want to make her feel she is protected. Protected from everything she should be, exposed to everything she should be.

On other thought, I think I know her soul, soul so strong that one gaze to it can create and destroy million worlds. Soul so strong that it can bring life to dead. Soul which is as primitive and beautiful as the garden of Eden. At times words seem exaggerating but a closer re-read of same word reveal the truth in it. I believe I have seen glimpses of her soul and then everything justifies itself. The Thing, the Supreme Being cannot give easy test to the soul so strong. Any thing simpler would be insult of this magnificent creation.

All I can wish her is fare well, may the strength and love be on your side. And a million thanks to her for illumining my life in more than ways she can imagine. I want to thank her for being warrior princess.

5 Character SAMYAA likes

 1- Catherine (protagonist of Wuthering Heights) ... she is a real character who is caught between Id n Super Ego ... (like most gals) she wants social status but she is nt able to leave her lover... her love is so passionate... though destroying but I like her

2- Vincent (Van Gaugh)... well ... he is a visionary... he ran behind truth.. he knew which path will take him to his destiny... he was a man full of energy... n i loved his foolish dreams.

 3- Tughlaq... he is again a very impressive character ( from a play of Girish Karnad) he was called - Mad Tughlaq... because he had impossible dreams.. he was a visionary... he failed but at least he tried...

 4- Jimmy Porter (Look Back in Anger)...awesome character...complex personality...he loves a gal yet he hurts her so much ... an unconscious urge
this is impressive that he has no book of rules

5- Protagonists of (The Reader)...both male n female...their characters were awesome. The love they share was mind blowing.. no words for it.

Flower Seller

Flower Seller:- He was strolling, reciting translation of CONSTANTINE CAVAFY's The Journey to Ithaca

"...The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon—do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long."
  "Do you mean what you sing?", she asked him with an air of curosity.
  Noone asked him such a question before. It was genuine question and he liked the question and the person in the very next moment.
  "I try to...", he replied unsure of the answer.
  It was one of Tabutsaaz's beginning days of realisations, when he meet flowerseller. He was just starting to realise his profession and the Flower Seller was always a great help in the process. By nature, Tabutsaaz loved to weave the complex web around him and Flower Seller always stood beside him with a simpler insight.